clerkifixion

2002-09-02 [ 03:13 am ]
Well, I have said this before, here... Many times. I am done at the Kwik Mart forever. This time, though, I mean it, because I don't plan on ever coming back to live in Elmira.

I thought to commemorate, I would list my favourite moments from that place, in descending order... Take a trip down the old swollen-can aisle...

5) Pokemon

The Pokemon craze effected lonely clerks and children alike like a virus. The holy trinity of Martyrs (Dave, Scott and myself) were addicted to that damn game to the point we each owned our own cartridge, so we could trade and access the secret evolutions.

We even had the "Gotta Catch 'em All!" poster under the counter, and checked each Pokemon off after we found them. I still have that somewhere. Scott's tales about catching the legendary birds with a master ball are, well, legendary.

The highlight had to be Scott sabotaging Dave's blue cartridge, so he could play. He spent hours dropping the Game Boy, so it would 'accidentally' erase the data. Finally, under my advice, he just deleted the data, and lied to Dave.

Another one has to be the time I changed the name of Dave's star Venusaur to "Dave's Mom". Heh.

4) Annie's Shuts Down

The Kwik Mart is traditionally devoid of business. Well, during the brief period in '99 when the adjoining donut shop was closed, it was literally a void.

The parking lot was constantly empty. We sold coffee that sat full all day. Our friends congregated for a place to chat, because they knew they wouldn't get disturbed by pesky customers.

Dave and I would have full-fledged wrestling matches on the floor. It was during this period where we hired Scott, and didn't tell anyone about it. I used to have so much control there...

3) Maggie Walks In

Maggie and I met under dubious circumstances that aren't appropriate to relate here. I never really thought I'd see her again, but she came to see me, I think, one night soon after, looking for Scott. She was relieved to see me instead, and stayed around to chat with me.

She never really left. The sign above is her doing, by the way... Isn't she the sweetest?

2) UNO and the Smoking Room

Dave and I would visit each other, and hang out, because we were really good friends, actually. We were in 'love' (to a certain degree) with sisters from the same family. It was like the Virgin Suicides, except without all that badness.

Anyway, we would spend hours playing UNO in the back room, smoking cigarettes and drinking Country Time Lemonade. Sometimes with invited guests.

These sessions either degenerated into one of two things:

1- One of us getting extremely angry (usually me), and destroying some sort of merchandise. I once smashed an entire case of ice cream cones.

2- Long drawn out debates over religion, movie characters, video games, philosophy, love and sex. All rolled into one. They would be loud and ridiculous, like a Kevin Smith script. Eventually it got to the point where we simply did it to put on a show for the customers.

The place was never the same after Dave's departure. It was right around then my boss installed a new bank of lights, which took out a sense of dankness that Dave contributed to (and I mean that in a most positive way...)

1) Kim

Well, the whole damn place was responsible for my first love, and I've told that story a million times both online here, and to everyone who has possibly read this far.

I remember the first time she came to see me. I was training Scott, and had no inkling whatsoever that she had any feelings for me. I presumed I was out of her league.

She came in allegedly looking for Cherry Blasters, but stayed and talked to Scott and I for close to an hour. Two weeks later, we were dating. Two weeks after that, we were relationshipping.

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Honourable Mentions: Helping Melissa Chapman with english homework; Making everyone look at the back of "Kink-O-Rama"; Bartering with Morby for free pizza; My boss giving the trinity dating advice; Russo, the Vince's mouse...

Songs I listend to way too much there: Filter - Take A Picture; Pearl Jam - Last Kiss; I Mother Earth - All Awake; Big Wreck - Under The Lighthouse...

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photo by: kam2k