norwich what?

2002-07-23 [ 02:20 am ]
"I'm Gordon Pape."

AAAUUUGGGGHHHH!H!H!H!!!!!!!!HHH !! No!!! NOt!!!.... Not...!!! NO!!! Not... Gordon.... PAPE!!!!

"I'm Gordon Pape, and my life is insured."

You know that television cliche where the troubled character encounters the bane his existence (for that episode anyway) on every television channel, in his shaving mirror, in his wife's visage, everywhere?

"I'm Gordon Pape... and I don't like you."

Well, even though I don't really shave, and have no wife, that is what's happening to me with... with... with... this. This... (up there)... this visage.

"I'm Gordon Pape, and I am under your futon."

I have this memory from when I was about three. I am not too sure whether or not it is fiction... likely is. Anyway, I woke up in the middle of the night (a very light sleeper... scared of apparitions.)

"I'm Gordon Pape, and I will never have to take a medical."

I left my room, which was just right of the top of the stairs, and noticed a brilliant green glow coming from the foot of the staircase. I calmy turned, and saw... an enormous transparent green face... Which was looking at me. It bore a slight resemblance to Leonard Nimoy, who I did not even know at the time.

"I'm Gordon Pape, and Judge Reinhold ain't got nothin' on me!"

I don't remember ever waking up from this, which is odd, because I am sure I would remember the panicky relief to this day... But all I remember is the face, and my enormous spellbound calm.

"I'm Gordon Pape, and seniors shall RISE AGAIN!... (from the dead.)"

Well, this is the opposite. If I see the transparent disembodied face of Gordon Pape floating around my bed, I WILL kill my television. I'd rather be haunted by G. Gordon Liddy...

"I'm Gordon Pape, and my Polident allows me to devour your genitals."

*sigh...* I need a smoke and a bottle of bourbon...

"...I'm Gordon Pape."

photo by: kam2k