down in the park

2002-06-17 [ 12:26 am ]
"Down in the park / Where the machmen meet the machines / And play 'kill-by-numbers'"

I went down to the park today, the one where my brothers took me as a child almost nightly after dinner. Apparently I would react to the news of going to the park, like a dog does to a walk. All prancy and euphoric.

Anyhow, I am becoming a very melodramatic person, this I realize. But I hadn't realized how much had changed. Of all the "rides" I remember, all that remained were the swings, and even they had been re-swung, so to speak.

I would walk overtop of the sandy gravesites, where my childhood amusement once proudly stood... the same sand I most certainly urinated and bled in at some point. I would point out to Kim, (annoyingly so, I am sure) "that's where the round-n-round was... and over there, that's where the rocket was..." We had actually climbed into the rocket, about two weeks into our relationship, right before she went back to London the first time. And from there we flew. It is one of my fondest memories of her; my memories of the park aren't just childhood ones, I guess.

It's all been replaced by some already rundown hideous yellow and blue structure, about as original and stimulating as joeler.com.

I guess this is all some overlong reminisce about my waning youth. A lament over the crumbling cornerstones of my past. It exists now, only in memory. I feel like I am stargazing on the Titanic; looking up, way up for some sort of sign of hope... like the past can actually be changed (well, without Hermione's special necklace, anyway...)

I have a lot of regrets from my past, and I try not to dwell on them. But lately, these days, they are resurfacing like a gang of sharks. I guess it helps that all of my good memories are, too.

I spent some of last night with Maggie and Scott... that was very nice, and it really makes me wish that I had got closer to them...

by: (lyrics from gary numan)